Let’s Talk About The Honest Depiction of Trauma and Abuse in Netflix’s “Baby Reindeer”

Netflix

"Baby Reindeer" on Netflix has never left my mind, even days after watching it. The movie is layered, and I'm here to discuss some of these layers. If you haven't watched the show, be warned that this post contains spoilers.

Let's tackle the elephant in the room: why did he return to the abuser's apartment even after the assault? In the context of abusive relationships or interactions, it's not uncommon for survivors to return to or maintain contact with their abusers, even after an assault or harmful incident. Abusers often employ psychological manipulation to control and confuse their victims, using tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or making promises that can persuade the victim to return. This is precisely what happened to Donny—he was promised fame as a comedian or writer, and he clung to those false promises. This is the danger for those desperate for success; they can be easily deceived by such false promises to the point of losing their sense of self.

Now, let's consider Martha's role. You might wonder why it took him six months to report Martha. Some might argue that he is not a victim but an enabler. However, if you watched the show, you'd see that he clearly acknowledges his dynamic with Martha, recognizing his egotism and the reasons for keeping Martha around. This is why I believe the characterization in the show is exceptional, as it presents this perspective through Teri, his love interest.

Initially, we perceive his actions as empathetic towards Martha, feelings of sorrow for her, but on a deeper level, his behavior is a manifestation of his deep-seated trauma. This is the vicious cycle of abuse: he is both a victim of abuse and grooming, which led to him exploiting and manipulating Martha on several levels. The show is a profound exploration of the vicious cycle of abuse and trauma.

The vicious cycle of abuse can lead to negative outcomes that, in turn, increase the likelihood of further abuse, creating a self-perpetuating loop. This cycle can affect individuals throughout their lives in various ways, impacting their mental, emotional, physical, and social well-being. The suggestion that Donny is not a victim because he allowed his abusers and Martha to continue their actions is a dangerous narrative.

Blaming victims is one of the reasons people are afraid to speak up about abuse; society often hastily questions, "Why didn't you run away?" or "Why didn't you report them to the police?" and, worst of all, "Why did you let them abuse you?" Abuse is inherently about an imbalance of power and control, with the responsibility for the abuse resting solely with the abuser. When we blame victims, we cause them additional emotional harm and perpetuate a culture that discourages victims from coming forward and seeking help.

Sent from me Iphon